Friday, August 29, 2008

The origin of all anger and how to eradicate it!

You ever sat down and wondered why it seems like everybody in the world now is super duper angry for no reason? Or why you get angry a lot at the asanine things that people do? Im unemployed now so i have a lot of time to think about these issues. But I did some research and i thought it might shed some light on this issue. So why do we get angry? It has all to do with one central issue CONTROL!

When we dont act in accordance with what we believe we feel lousy, and this lousy feeling might lead to anger and disgust at ourselves because we didnt control ourselves enough to do what we thought was right. Like in my case, i think drinking is wrong but i still drink sometimes, so as a result i feel lousy when i drink (sometimes in order to make myself feel better i might eat some garlic or take some other herbs to kind of justify drinking to myself, im weird like that).

When people get angry they often think that the anger they feel gives power and control. Some people take pride in expressing their anger to others. But in actuality its a sign that you are dangerously out of control and need to get a hold of yourself as soon as possible.

When we are not in control of our lives we seek to control the lives of others. Thus the control freak. The control freak needs to compensate for the lack of control in their own lives by seeking to control the lives of others. They might demand that people do certain things and when they dont meet their endless list of expectations or allow themselves to be controled by them the control freak might seek to punish them in some way. They might seek to cut off communication with them and you ask them why they cut you off they'll say because you didnt do this or you didnt do that.

They are trying to mask the fact that they dont have good self esteem and they dont live according to their internal beliefs.

So how can you not get angry at what others do and control your anger as much as possible?

1st - If you believe that you should be doing something do it.
If you dont think that you can do it, it's simple, just let go of the belief thats holding you back. Or try to find out what's holding you back from doing what you want to do. And find out what it wil take to act out that belief.

2nd - Try to imagine what problems this person might be going through and put yourself in their shoes.
This is a strategy that always calms me down in a heartbeat. You have to remeber like ive said before, people hurt others because they've been hurt themselves. So obviously this person must be going through some kind of pain. I sit there, if its a black woman for instance, and say to myself something like "well, she probably doesnt have a good relationship with her father, she probably had a rough childhood, on and on and on. And with every reason that comes up i get less and less angry. This is a good startegy.

#3 "Fuck them. Fuck Them All" freeman
I agree lol. You should remind yourself that nobody is going to have control over you enough to manipulate your emotions and play with your feelings as if they are your puppet master. They put their hands on you thats one thing but if they say or jesture at you who cares!

PS. You can also get angry when other people prevent you from having control over yourself, like in slavery or something.
That's all i got.


RiPPa said...

For some, outward displays of anger has become a defense mechanism. In those instances, it stems from a lack of the ability to express themselves.

Just my 2 cents.

Afrobabe said...

I had to do something fast as I saw my self fast becomming that angry black woman every one dreads...I didnt know what started it but the moment I knew when the reaction starts I ended it with humour...I look for the humour in everything, if I cant find it, I walk away...

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

LOL speaking of slavery, hats off to phyllis wheatly on this day

do chk me out if u can

MysTery said...

I feel you, I feel you...

MysTery said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
karrie b. said...

i soaked this post in cuz uve got some key points.

angry is my least fav emotion of them all.


Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

thats a lot and sound advice
have a gr8 weekend jones

Don said...

You make some great points about anger and why people are angry and whatnot, especially when you spoke on the control issue. I agree.

During the times when I get angry or upset is because I've put myself out there for someone who did some f*cked up ish or something of that nature.

Depending on who it is...I will either try to come to an understanding or ignore the person. Either way, I accept it.

Acceptance lightens the mood, somewhat.

Standtall said...

This is so wonderful. I get angry majorly on public issues. The way the citizens will ignore their own responsiblity and blame verything on the government. The way women and children are treated and all that. I wish things change for better.
I will try and use Afrobabe's method. It's just that it's had to find humour in things like things. Instead of getting angry, I will think solution!

Obama Mama said...

I like your first solution, do what you think you should be doing. I definitely agree, that it takes the frustration away, consequently taking away the for no reason, anger.

I also agree, that anger is not the problem, its controlling the anger. I tell my kids all the time its ok to be angry, but that don't mean you can say or do what you wanna do, just cause you're angry. punch a pillow, run, write, get away from other people.

Anonymous said...

Funny you dont take your own advice... like it #3... proves that its all bullshit if you dont even follow the rules your bestowing on others.