Tuesday, May 27, 2008

How to feel pleasure while doing something that you might not want to do

We feel great about ourselves when we are respecting ourselves.

We are showing ourselves respect when we live according to our beliefs and values.

We feel terrible when we violate those beliefs and values.

According to David Lieberman in his book “How to change anybody”, the three orientations from which all human beings act is the body, ego and soul.

When you act from the body state, you are just doing what comes easy as opposed to what is right.

If you act from the egotistical standpoint then you are trying your best to look good instead trying your best to do what you know to be appropriate.

However, if you behave and act from the valley of the soul then you are doing what you believe to be the best thing to do, and as a result, the universe rewards you for your behavior with excellent self-esteem.

So if you want to feel good all the time, always act in accordance with your core beliefs (or soul).

In other words if you believe that drinking is bad for your health then when you decide not to drink you feel great because you loved and cared about yourself enough not to participate in your own self destruction.

This gives you an indescribable feeling of personal joy and satisfaction.

Your body might react physiologically to the absence of the drug by making you sick but you feel good on a deep level because you showed yourself how much you loved yourself in the face of the overwhelming temptation to drink.

However if you go against your core belief and drink anyway you feel bad that you did not have the will power to stop yourself from killing yourself.

When human beings do not want to face up to certain negative behaviors that they have engaged in they rationalize their behavior to make it seem as if it was the right thing to do.

This may work for a while but the pain will come back and often the human being who feels lousy transfers that negative feeling on to an innocent target (takes out the anger they feel towards themselves on a person who did not cause them to be angry).

When deciding on what course of action to take in any given situation, first ask yourself, “what should I be doing in this situation”?

Once you figure out, from deep down inside, what you should be doing, DO IT!

If you do not you are going to wish you did in the future.

If you really do not know what the best solution is, do some research, ask somebody who you think will know or act anyway on what you feel and see if it gives you the desired result.

If that behavior did not give you the kind of result you wanted do not do it again or you will get the same result or worse.


FREEDOM said...

JT excellent post!!

You gave some practical food for thought that anyone can "save" oneself from some unnecessary pain and damaging self-confidence by just taking a moment to example our selves, motives and behavior.

How we can change the world in which we live by simply starting to find out who we really are and what we really value in this life. Then taking that awareness and stay and become TRUE 2 Self.

We can build great nations for our people, for our children with a greater sense of Love 4 Self, our people, others and the planet in which we live !!!

James Tubman said...

self knowledge is the foundation of self mastery

i'm not saying i always do the right thing lol

but i tell you freedom

we have to learn to put first things first and keep them first

FREEDOM said...

I am no saint either lol

These skills that you just shared with the blog nation are very important!!!

I agree we have to learn, and the key word here is LEARN "to put first things first and KEEP them first"!!

Great post!

Shazza Nakim said...

I love rolling through here to pick up a little knowledge. I recently re-posted some relationship advice on my Blog about mistakes and how is see the signs. Stop by and let me know what you think.

How to End a Relationship On a Positive Note


dejanae said...

thanks for the education

Divine Blackness said...

Beautifully written!

The F$%K it List said...

I really needed to read that today! I do my best to listen to my soul but so often its shadowed by ego (I'm working on that).

Many thanks

Smarty Jones said...

Nice post. Here's another bit of food for thought. I've always heard that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result means you're insane.

One Man’s Opinion said...

This is a very interesting post, tubman. One of the problems I have is when I get mad I tend to raise my voice. It is something that I have been trying to overcome for a very long time. Now, as an officer my loud voice serves me well, in most cases, but I don't reserve my police voice just for unruly suspects. I use in frustration, when I am placed in a confrontation.
Now, keep in mind I don't lose my temper with the adverage joe very often, but when I do it always bothers me. Why? Because I honestly feel bad after I have had to raise my voice in anger. Plus, I feel like it changes whatever the relationship was. I think I am getting better at controling it, but I know it is still a problem. And it doesn't help that I am loud by nature.

Good post, bro. Get out of my head!

Demon Hunter said...

Very informative post. I love theological thinking. That may be why I took up Psychology. Dr. Lieberman is good, but Freud is still my favorite. :*)

I think it's wonderful that you are providing something positive on your blog. Keep it up!

Yasmeen Christian said...

So true.

Don said...

@ james tubman:

let me say this first and foremost: i appreciate you. secondly, i am the dude that wanna be celebrity with absolutely no writing talent whatsoever spoke on. so you saw through the scorness as well, right?

she spoke about me and my kids. that right there, a no-no. see the problem with these bloggers is that they THINK they can hide behind a computer.

here's the deal. broad mad cause i shunned her. she called me gay and i stopped blog f*cking with her. basically. then i comepletely ignore her. her emails. blog comments. everything. so she sends me an email talking about i am drama and all that. but when you call a man something that he aint, tell me who is really the drama queen?

mad cause i show attention to female bloggers. didn't give her my number. all that drama stuff. spoke bad about bloggers and i still got the emails. but i aint blast her. it's quiet as kept. then even tells me that she still is going to buy my book.

this broad's blog was built by me. not too mention the fact how she rode my d*ck all over the blogosphere. my talent spoke for me. she even re-did my hot blog post. all of that. everything. basically jocked my blog. but you know that's what the ones do who can't do it like that.

anyways, man, it's a small thing to a giant. of that other stuff. it's cool. that's how scorned broads are. but speaking up on the situation with me and my kids...


c'mon now.

broad aint got a man or children and apparently no life plays it like that. but i'm see about it. eventually.

Desy said...

interesting post dear... but i will say that i am not down for doing as others do... but i've been taught by the best.. my daddy... so gotta a pretty concrete foundation there... no confusions here...*koolaid grin*

Anonymous said...

true... thats all i'm going to say... its been a cool week and ain't in the mood for some drama....

Afrodite said...

Great post!

I always feel better about my life when I'm acting the way I'm supposed to be acting. =)

Eb the Celeb said...

So the man bitches unite huh... interesting... you really want me to put you on blast dont you... i got the emails too bruh of you talking shit about all the male bloggers but now all of a sudden they ya best blog buddies in the whole world... got plenty of the email of you talking about female bloggers too... and sexual references that I ignored because they did absolutely nothing for me... keep right on having a fucking blog tour posting this stupidness and see dont I put your ass on blast for real!

and like I said I can be real with my shit unlike you who lives in a fabricated world minus the bars right? yes I did say I would still buy your book...months ago.. shows and proves that I wasnt bitter about the situation... if your a good story teller your a good story teller and telling stories that is... whew you are incredible at it. You tell so many and i pity the fools that buy in to all your bullshit.

For the last damn time... I was NOT referring to you or ya kids... do I have to have the nigga I was talking about come and guest blog at my spot just to make you feel like the stupid man bitch that you are? if the shit applies to you too and you are so damn sensitive about the fucking issue stop going to every damn blog in the blogosphere commenting about it and do something about the shit. Your comment didnt have anything to do with this damn post so grow the fuck up... how old are you again... airing all ya dirty laundry to the blog world just like a bitch would do... in the middle of a whole bunch of drama and continue to keep it going just like a bitch would do... This is the last time I am going to comment on the issue because your really not even worth the time.

I know what my intentions were with that post and quite frankly you aint important enough to me for me to dedicate a blog post to you... so get off ya fucking high horse because I ain't the one worried about what the hell you do. Leave that to ya followers... because I follow No ONE... I am a leader.. and always will be!

James Tubman said...

@freefree... i agree

and a lot of problems come from our inability to establish what should be firs in our lives

im starting to do that

i think you should do that too

and most importantly be real with yourself

@nakim... i got you homie

thanx for rolling by

@dejanade... thanks for reading

@DB... thank you beautiful :)

@ef it... the ego interferes because every waking moment our day our egos are constantly being marketed too by advertisers

i still have a lot of problems myself doing this

if i listened to my own advice i would be a genius

@smarty arty... true dat

but you have to know that you are insane before you can become sane lol

@one man... you are concerned about looking good (ego)

this used to be my problem

always concerned about how people reacted to me

you have to do what's right regardless of how anyone thinks

thanx homie

@the hunter of all types of demons...

hola chica

freud is so underrated

he is probably the most influential man in the 20th century

his ideas are all in the media, schools, stores, everywhere

love his ego defense mechanisms


@yas... yup

@D... glad you got that off your chest my brother

society seems to think that all men should be hard and emotionless

i refuse to conform to societies defination of what a man is because it is limited

it doesn't allow us to go through the whole range of emotions that there is to experience

it limits our humanity to just being a heartless an unfeeling human being

if i get called a bitch for being myself so be it

i've been through so much in my life that no one person can put me down

and if they do i always manage to bounce back quickly and easily

don't ever feel bad about doing what you believe to be right

@desy... if you get it you are going to dish it out as well as you got it

what can you say lol

@dlee... sorry about your brother

i've lost family and friends to violence too so i know how you feel

glad you had a good week though

i'll holla

@afrodite... i do too baby

thank you for your delightful comment :)

lindwee said...

Now i know.....

James Tubman said...

if you don't know

now you know

you know

you know lol

- notorious big

Don said...

nothing like words of wisdom. you speak the truth, bruh. i appreciate it.

James Tubman said...

no problemo amigo

so wuzzup wit minus the bars homie

when are you going to put the site back up

Ticia said...

HEY Tubman -

I liked this post - I have found myself really thinking abt the choices I make -- and how I feel after them - I am trying to be more clear in my intentions -and always strive for the best one

Anonymous said...

Wow lookie here... donny n brother james doing their thing... there is hope after all.. show these folks how its done...

alight nothing really to say just looking around as usual.

oh right.. it wasn't my brother.. it was some dude i know for a while teenager brother who was murdered... now there goes to say Toronto ain't so safe like most ppl think... this happens everyday... thank goodness i got out of the "hood" well it wasn't really hood lol...

karrie b. said...

i stalked ur blog from my blackjack all weekend. this is some good shit, james. i can always appreciate an honest man's opinion.


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