This one is so great, but I bet you all probably already know about this strategy.
I'm obsessed with finding ways to deal with inconsiderate people because I deal with them all the time.
Sometimes i might avoid interacting with others because i can easily get my feelings hurt by the things they say.
But i think after all my searching i might have found a good way to disengage the negativity that spews out of these emotional basket cases mouths.
First of all, people give negative criticisms for three main reasons.
#1 - They might actually be trying to help but lack the tact necessary to get to a sensitive person.
#2 - They want to hurt you make you feel pain because they are going through pain themselves.
#3 - Or they just don't know how to keep their thoughts to themselves.
It doesn't matter what the reason you still shouldn't get upset.
We give them power over us when we let them manipulate our emotions.
We become their puppet on a string when we let them dictate how we should feel.
When they act out they don't know any better.
And why would we let a crazy person, a child or a hurt person make us feel bad as well.
They cant help but to act that way.
They should be pitied for their indiscretions, not the source of anger.
Anyway, what do you do when someone says something mean to you either in your face or behind your back loud enough for you to hear it, (of course the best thing to do is just ignore it).
First, thank them for being honest about what they really feel.
They might actually have some good advice, but because they are emotionally unstable and dont know how to truly express themselves, it comes out the wrong way.
Second, ask for advice on how to improve the thing they are criticizing
Or ask them how they would have done what they are criticizing.
You want to ask them this because they might give you some good information on how to overcome the problem that you face (if it is in fact a problem).
Before you even attempt to confront the person, look at them as a little child.
Because in a sense they are emotionally if they react to something that's not that serious in a hostile way.
And this will also help you to not get so upset at the things they say because most of us don't let little children get under our skin that much.
Give it a try!