Tuesday, November 20, 2007

How to be happy no matter what

Everyone wants to be happy. Sigmund Freud, the founder of modern psychology, says that all people are motivated by the pleasure principle. That is, anything that gives us pleasure we move closer towards, and anything that brings us pain we move further away from. He thought that this was the primary motivating force behind all of our actions. If this is true then our happiness must be very important.

Sometimes the pursuit of happiness can lead us to do things that make us miserable in the long run like consume harmful substances that hurt our bodies or kill and destroy the lives of others.

You don’t have to do this.

Here’s a small list of things that have been scientifically proven to work and will work for you if you ever find yourself in a painful mental state:

Dedicate your life to using whatever talents God gave you to help Black people solve their problems.

Deepak Chopra, an Indian motivational speaker, says that if you want anything in life, give it to others and you will eventually receive it yourself. You have an obligation to those who come after you because the ones who came before paved the way to where you are now. If thousands of people didn’t march in the streets to ensure our civil rights then many of us wouldn’t have the opportunities we have right now. We are most happy when we are making other people happy.

Talk with the family members and friends that make you happy.

This seems obvious but many of us don’t do this. Some of us want to suffer alone especially men and this is understandable. However, sometimes you have to get it off your chest so go to someone who you know for sure will be supportive. We experience joy when we know that other people care for us unconditionally.

Focus on the valuable things you already have and be thankful for them.

If your doctor told you that you were going to lose your eyesight in the next seven days you would really appreciate your eyesight for the next seven days and beyond. Many of us don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone. Realize that at any given time what you have could be gone. If you thank God for what you have everyday then you’ll be happier in life.

Think about someone who’s in a worse situation than you and thank God that you are not in that same situation.

Shows like Jerry Springer and Maury Povich are designed to get people to focus on the problems of others to get their attention off of their own issues, and to laugh at the problems of others. I don’t know if you should necessarily laugh at other people’s problems because you might feel guilty later. But you can certainly thank God that you are not in that same condition. Just imagine how it would be if you were struck with that kind of affliction. That’s all it takes.

Focus on a time in your life when you were happy and mentally put yourself in that state.

This is called an anchor in psychology. An anchor is basically a cue or signal that reminds us of something else. For example, if you procrastinate a lot, you can remember a time where you actually did a job well and got it done on time. Now if you’re about to meet a deadline focus on when you got things done on time and put yourself mentally in that state of mind. This will give you the confidence to do anything because you know that if you did it once you can do it again.

Eat raw organic fruits and vegetables and take some St. Johns Wort

We all know the benefit of fruits and vegetables but St. Johns Wort has been proven in study after study and in clinical trials to cure and eliminate depression. If you take Prozac or any other kind of anti-depressant you can save your money because once you start taking 3 to4 tablets of these a day you’ll feel the benefits for yourself.

Listen to good music

Someone once said that when you listen to music you feel no pain. Think about how you feel when you’re listening to music you love and enjoy. Nuff said!

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deepnthought said...

"Focus on the valuable things you already have and be thankful for them".

My favorite from the post. It happens to be a mantra of mine.

Fezzzzzzzzzzz said...

Cool post James...

I agree with you on being thankful, helping others and relying on support systems such as family; especially the being thankful part. I have a hard time being content myself and I am just starting to practice that. I agree with the power of music as well. I did not know that fruits and veggies are good for depression, I guess I’ll have to look into that now huh :-)

However James; I believe that emotions such as sadness and anger, no matter how painful they may become, are natural and should be dealt with accordingly. When we face a sad event, I think we should be sad, when we are in an angry situation we should be angry. Instead of wasting so much energy trying to deny legitimate feelings using all tricks, I think sometimes we should just feel, while choosing the right manner to channel those feelings. Yes, I think the trick is how you express these emotions. I say that, because if you deny your feelings long enough, denial kicks in. And for me, denial is a terrible terrible thing.

James Tubman said...

thanx for taking the time to read my post brova man.

you're right.

i should have mentioned that sometimes it's not only better to feel pain but it's necessary.

in order to relinquish pain you have to first feel it.

god gave us the ability to feel pain so that we can know that something is wrong with us.

if we never felt pain we would probably have died at a very young age.

however, you don't have to dwell on it if it is overwhelming you.

pain is not healthy if felt for a long long time.

keep stoping by,

James Tubman

James Tubman said...


K.Victoria said...

This post is classic. I'm not sure how it slipped by me. You hit on many things in this post that can bring an amazing sense of calm to anyone!

I've recently started reading books by the Dalai Lama. He focuses more on internal happiness. I think you can agree, creating internal happiness can bring external happiness.

Again, great post!!

James Tubman said...

you almost slipped by me

i'm glad that you liked it and i think reading the dalai lama is a good thing

thank you for your interest :)

MysTery said...

Good post!

Anonymous said...

Love your blog.
Your points are on point!

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