Thursday, January 29, 2009

The 3 main ways to stop someone or prevent someone from cheating on you (IT WORKS!)

This is a controversial topic lol.

Most people who i talk to about this issue say that there is absolutely NO WAY you can ever stop a person from cheating on you (especially in this day and age).


Oh ye of little faith.

If man can build the pyramids, travel into outer space and talk to someone 20,000 miles away from them in a single minute, they can stop their mates from cheating on them EASILY (its not difficult at all).

All it really takes is repetition.

This is the first question i answered in my audiobook, Getting Over The Drama: A Black Man Who Knows Something Answers 10 Crtitcal Questions About Our Relationships.

Not too many bought it so i guess i can give yall the goods and hopefully this information might help you to improve the quality of your relationships.

So lets get to it.

Here are the 3 main ways you can prevent someone from not cheatioin on you:

#1 - High Expectations (praise them)

Guilt is a powerful emotion that can propel human beings to do super human things.

Guilt is a negative emotion and it is an emotion that no one likes to feel.

This will work because most people arent sociopaths and they will often do and say anything not to feel this emotion.

So how do you use this method?

You basically let your partner know that you know that there are monsters out there who will cheat at the drop of a dime but im so glad i have someone who is faithful and that respects me and would never cheat on me.

You basically thank them all the time for staying faithful to you.

This should be done often in all types of creative ways.

This works mainly when you brag to your friends or people they dont know about this issue in front of your partner.

If this is repeated often enough the person will feel bad even if they think about cheating and your mini brainwashing job will be complete.

Try it a few times if you are watching something that might be related to cheating.

It works wonders because once a person is often praised for something they'll want to do it again and again to get that same praise.

So if you praise them for being faithful they will want to maintain this image in your mind.

When I have another long term relationship o will try this again.

This also works for any behavior you believe is undesirable in a mate.

#2 - Threaten to tell somone who repects them (pull out the heavy guns)

Everybody wants to be seen in a positive light by somebody.


Once you find that person that respects them and praises them consistently you got them.

I believe you should employ this method once you find out for sure that the person cheated or is thinkiing about cheating (i tell you how to find out if they cheated in this post)

Tell their grandmother, their father, their boss, their pastor, anybody who they might hold in high regard.

You might think, "if they cheat on me why not just leave them!"

Everybody make mistakes.

It might have been a mistake and the person might seriously be sorry for what they did.

This is a way to gain hand in the relationship.

You can have power over this person to make them do whatever you want (and if they really want you they'll do it to).

It'll be fun lol.

Try it.

Dont feel guilty about it because cheting is a serious issue.

They can bring back diseases, cheating makes you angry, sad, it makes you feel like a fool.

I dont think people like to be cheated on.

#3 - Make them seek another for counsel

This will take some planning but its worth it to get them out of this cheating mode.

If they have cheated or is thinking about it, give them some incentive for talking to another person about how bad cheating is.

This can be anybody: a pastor, a family member, a co worker.

This step works best when the person who is talking to them about the negative effects of cheating is younger then them because when the person who is schooling you is younger than you that kind of forces you to be more responisible (i dont know why it just does).

Now after a while you cut the reward off and if they still want to talk to them they arent thinking about cheating.

If they dont want to to talk to them on their own they might still be thiniking about it (i got this from David Liebeerman's "How To Change Anybody." This guy trains CIA agents and his work has been translated into different lanuguages and his psychological techniques are used by governments all over the world)

Dont take my word for it though.


And let me know what the results are.


lulu said...

But what if they are hell bent on doing it anyway! lol its so easy to say but some guys that wont let on

Lindah said...

They could work.
The more jealous you are, the more he/she cheats on you.

James Tubman said...

@lulu... one thing i know for sure black women know how to get information on a brother

it might not seem as if it will work but i believe it does

guys arent as slick as women because women are always thinking

besides you can get a man to do anything you want him to do if you are nice to him

@hello lindah... nice to see you back my darling

im glad im getting some love from my ugandian sisters lol

god bless yall

in a lot of cases that is true because the woman is always thinking he's going to cheat so the man says "why not"

if a person thinks that someone is who they think they are then they will be disappointed if they dont turn out to be who they thought they were

sounds confusing lol

think about this

if a woman thinks that her man is a cheater she will be dissapointed when she finds out that he really doesnt cheat

she will never believe him and she'll insist that he is cheating regardless of the fact that she has no evidence

she does this because human beings hate to be wrong in their assumptions

and if they are wrong they have to admit that they are wrong (and most people dont like doing this)

this is why the first step is so important because if you have high expectations that he WONT cheat then he will see your confidence him and that will give him more confidence not to cheat because he will know he is trusted

might not wor out that way but i think so (at least i hope so lol)

Anonymous said...

Brother you come up with some manipulative posts when it comes to our interactions with the opposite sex. I'm taking it all in but I don't know where I should put it all.

James Tubman said...

the main purpose for language is to get others to do what you want them to do

see the world the way you want them to see it

we are ALWAYS trying to manipulate others

if im going to be caught up in this game i intend to win it

Shai said...

If a person is gonna cheat they will. Manipulating can only go so far. It is best to put energy where needed. If you focusing doing things for a person not to cheat, you are directing your energies in the wrong direction.

James Tubman said...

i agree shai

you shouldnt focus your energies on preventing him from cheating

you should focus your energies on praising and rewarding him for being faithful

see the thing is in most cases you dont know for sure if he is cheating or not because you dont have any proof

but if you make him feel good about being faithful you'll never go wrong

this way if he isnt cheating he will really feel good about not cheating when you reiforce him in this way

and if he is cheating he'll feel guilty and shmaeful about it and he'll either do one of two things

he'll treat you more like crap because he will be mad that you are making him feel guilty if he is cheating

or he will still feel guilty but if he really wants your approval he'll stop

this is why you have to get him to seek your approval of his behavior before you can get him to stop cheating on him if you use this method

women do this all the time they just havent theorized it the way im doing it now

good to see you back

Shai said...

Tub, let's agree yet again to disagree. You're young maybe later you'll. Get it. SMH.

ed said...

The more I learn about Freud and psychology in general, I find this "cheating" stuff to be worthless chatter that is not real world.

It can be assumed that there is primal instinct for people to have a desire for sex.

And we can also assume in order to create a "civilized society", the powers that be are trying to repress primal instincts in fear the primal may take over and challenge the control of the status quo.

Primally, men and women like to have sex and have the innate desire to do so. Repressively, we sit around talking to each other about "cheating" and other rules to having sex and how people should carry themselves.

All these "cheating" topics resort to is people trying to impose their "artificial" beliefs over "primal instincts" and I reject that concept 1000%. No one is going to check me like that.

If someone want to screw someone else, they will because it primal. No amount of social intimidation, mind games is going to change what is a primal desire in all humans.

If someone want to be "loyal" or "faithful", good for them and whoopy-doo. All they proved was they lived an artificial lie they imposed upon themselves. They did nothing to change primal instincts of humans.

Psychologists already figured it out and it appear only us Black people are still on that "cheating" nonsense..

anonymous gal said...

i see u still doing ur thin and doin it well. kip it up

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But go ahead and contribute to the site bruh!

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