Friday, February 15, 2008

The 7 Steps to Getting Someone to Do Something for You

This is a good way to get whatever you want from a person within reason.The bigger the favor the more time you have to spend working on these habits before you actually ask them.If you are dealing with customers or potential customers of course, you do not have a lot of time.You may only have a minute so it is best to practice perfecting these skills in your own mind then try them for little things then work up to the big stuff.This formula is also a good one for motivating yourself to do the things you need to do in life.This is a very valuable skill because we all want favors from others but many of us are afraid to ask because we think they'll say no.You can convince anybody to do anything for you if you ask for what you want in the right way, and this post is going to show you how.

#1 eliminate alternatives

Make it seem like it's your way or the worst decision imaginable. When you give a person only a few choices they will tend to judge quicker than if you gave them a lot of choices. Make the number of choices no more than three with two choices being the best suggestion. Say as if you want somebody to go out with you and you want to use this strategy. You can give them the benefits of choosing you to go out on a date with (excellent conversation, go to a nice restaurant, I’ll be a perfect gentleman) or give them a negative alternative (stuck in the house watching other people live their lives instead of you living yours, missing out on a possible opportunity to have a good time or whatever). Make it something even worse than this if you can. But limit their options because they are more likely to say yes if they don't see any other alternatives.

#2 designate a specific time and place

if you don't people will take forever to do it and you have to let them know they may not get another chance to act. Have the time period already scheduled in advance (have back ups just in case they can't do it then) and if possible give the person enough time to prepare for it (maybe a month or two). If you have to do it now it's ok, it can still work. If you are using this skill whether it's now or later always be as specific as possible. Time, place date etc.

#3 Get them up and moving

Get the person to move in some way, sit down, do a small favor for you, reach for something etc. Once they do something we ask and physically move their bodies to do it they'll be more likely to do something else (what we really wanted them to do in the first place). It's the law of consistency. When we do a small favor for someone it also strengthens our belief that we must like them in some way. Some will reject doing this small favor because they'll see it off the bat. When they do this use some other strategies first then come back to that one because this one is very important. If you think you need to think of another small favor to ask. Remember, you should always plan in advance seems tedious but the possibilities for getting what you want are endless.


Super duper important. We must exude confidence and assuredness when we are requesting something. This means that we must have a preconceived conviction that whatever we ask they'll deliver. This is the main problem with us and relationships. We just know that things are going to eventually turn out bad so let’s get what we can get now while before the rough times come. This is called low expectations and a self fulfilling prophecy. It is bound to happen because when you think something is going to happen you prepare for it thus never giving the other person a chance to prove you wrong. In fact you don't even want him to prove you wrong because you don't want to be wrong. This might not be a good thing to do.Instead be confident that the person will say yes by acting as if they already said yes right after you asked them. Get the paperwork ready, thank them profusely, take the next action you would normally take as if the person already said yes.

#5 Make the whole process sound super easy

Tell them that what you require them to do only takes a few simple steps. If possible make the steps sound as pleasing as possible. No more than two or three easy to do steps. This is called single tasking as opposed to multitasking (doing many different things).

#6 Offer something extra for taking action

A nice additional bonus always sweetens the deal. This additional feature gives them an extra incentive to take action and it doesn't have to be big. It could be something real simple (a trip to the movies on the way back, a gift card or a hug lol). It doesn't matter what it is as long as it is nice and it is added as result of fulfilling your initial request.

#7 Get them to like you first

Of course you may only be able to do this if you have many different interactions with people. This is why if you have customers always pleasantly ask for their information and follow up with calls or e-mails that are heavily drenched with strategies that get them to like you. Then once the person has an affinity for you offer him the product that you wanted to sell. If possible always establish relationships (this why the rich stays rich and the poor stays poor).

These behaviors can be used in many different ways for many different reasons. So knock yourself out. These are so easy to remember and do. Give it a few measly stinking hours out of your life and I can guarantee you will get some wonderful results that may change your whole life in a way that you've never imagined. Okay, which one of the seven did I use just then?

stop settling for less in your relationships. you have the power to change your partner for the better. if you have an open mind don't be afraid to click here to learn more.


desperate lady said...

Am I 1st?

James Tubman said...

yes you got the #1 spot (laughs)

you and afrobabe are really obsessed with that (laughs)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mizrepresent said...

This was on point, and i have to think that i do use these methods on a daily basis, but there is nothing like a reminder. Good Stuff!

Shazza Nakim said...

Sorry, it wouldn't work on me. I'm too Passive Aggresive although number 7 would help some.

Opinionated Diva said...

#7 should probably be's so much easier to get folks to do stuff when they like you.

I'm going to use these from now on when I harass you for personal information! LOL

Desy said...

is seven the magic number for everything... i need to remember that....

yeah i agree- personal post? No... not really... maybe...???

Maybe we should rally

I guess I'm 7

FREEDOM said...

Outstanding piece once again JT!

You do an excellent job of researching your material from expert psychologists who has put these practices to the test repeatedly. Then you follow your research up with your own spin on how these techniques can be used in the 21st century. Tu’shae!

I believe you incorporated all seven principles in your last statement:

“These behaviors can be used in many different ways for many different reasons. (#5 Make the whole process sound super easy). So knock yourself out. ( #3 Get them up and moving). These are so easy to remember and do. (#4 Always have HIGH EXPECTATIONS). Give it a few measly stinking hours out of your life and I can guarantee you will get some wonderful results that may change your whole life in a way that you've never imagined. (#1 eliminate alternatives), (#6 Offer something extra for taking action), (#2 designate a specific time and place).

And lastly, (#7 Get them to like you first). JT, you had to get your readers to like you first in order for any of us to keep revisiting your site weekly to see what is new at the Solution House or feel like Chillin in the Tub witcha!

Keep putting out this wonderful and useful information.


anonymous gal said...

james i think u are 35 and lyin bout ya age.
another good usable write up.

fantasy queen said...

saving a spot...crap DL already made it here? gosh, shes driving me crazyyyy.
coming back to read, need to do some stalk outs and see if i can beat her elsewhere

Anonymous said...

Wow! I need to know you in real life...LOL!

diary of a G said...

hey JT! I'll Brb...I aint forget you my dude

Lovebabz said...

You are a very interesting Man. I am always blown away by your intellect. I do not happen to agree with you most often, but I like that you put it out there.

desperate lady said...

lol fantasy queen u cant beat me.

This post is interesting eventhough all i have to do is smile n i get wut i want.

p.s-y r u always attacking me? wut did i do to you?

lindwee said...

I like this post.
Now i know what to do this week.

mp1 v.8.0 said...

you a salesman or something?? lol

I usually don't look into that type of stuff, but it just might be useful. #7 definitely makes the most sense.

Anonymous said...

Sorry about messing up the space.. just changed my mind about what i wrote.. no comments.. you know you got it together.

dejanae said...

why do i feel like i just finished a bootleg training seminar?
good stuff

fantasy queen said...

DL darline, i just get jealous that ur names num 1 in every page i visit. i mean, i hope to be like you some day till then i'll keep u got a girl and does she read this? i bet she cant use all this tips u've been droping on u cos...well cos u're like the 'inside man'.
oh well, its all good right?
plus i must be like a born whiz emotional kid cos i kind of know how to get what i want or get people to do stuff, a couple of stuff u wrote here applies(some might call it spoilt) but i call it using ur brain.
plus, why do i feel u've posted something like this before...

antipop said...

me, i have a look. it has melted many a hard heart. if that look dont get something done, trust me, no list will.

Fezzzzzzzzzzz said...

Excellent entry, but not sure if I agree James...

We need to check our motives everytime we try do influence people I think. Otherwise, we are flirting with straight-up manipulation or machavellian type of power-play. Just my thoughts

That won't work on me as well...Especially #4 "#4 Always have HIGH EXPECTATIONS"...Hell am comfortable in my cynicism man...hehe

AnyaPosh said...

Tubman, I like your blog. The positivity on here is so sneaky, I love it! I'm definitely bookmarking this URL. These were great reads, so i'll be back!

James Tubman said...

i'm sorry i take so long to respond

gotta work on that lol

@miz... sometimes it helps to know the basic theory of what you are doing so you can perfect it

thanx for posting and i love your last poem

@bro. rakim... don't be so certain my brother

advertisers use these skills all the time in their ads

and many times they use these techniques subliminally

have you ever had a whole in the wall then after a while you didn't notice it anymore

that's how nice these skills are

after a while you don't even know what happened to you all you know is that you just bought a car or a house or a leather jacket or whatever

holla back son and welcome too

@op d in the place to be... the 7th step is first that's why i said

#7 Get them to like you FIRST lol

yeah that's a prerequisite but the good news is this can be achieved within a minute

it's so easy to get people to like you

you are an expert at it

you should be posting your own techniques yourself making that money

@desy...your latest post was spellbounding

i had no idea you could write like that

and yeah i will be posting some more personal stuff soon since you wanna be in my business like that lol

thanx for the love

@hey baby... i'm so glad that you take such an interest in my work

what does tu'shae mean lol

i always hear people saying it but never asked what it meant

what would really make me feel good is if you all actually tried the things that i suggested so you can see how well it works yourself

thanx once again

@anonymous gurl... naw just have an old soul

@princess... well it souldn't be hard we live in the same city

you do poetry so i might catch you at organic soul or the yabba pot open mike

who knows

@dog...i aint forgot about you either dawg

woof woof woof

@lovebabz... thank you

what can i say

use what you can discard what you don't want

@dl... it's not that i'm mean to be mean it just happens

i don't even construe what i say to you as being mean

i don't know

if i have been mean to you i'm very sorry

i guess i don't talk to you like the others because i figured you were more layed back


and if you wanna see mean look at the first message you sent me lol

@lindwee... you know what to do this week huh

how about my tag lol

@mp...welcome homie

i have sold some things before but this can work in any way when you are relating to people

holla back

James Tubman said...

@dyme piece... ok lol

what nothing to say oh ok

holla later

@dejanae... lol that's because it is in a sense

i guess it won't be legit until i put my audiobook out there

it's coming though

@fantastic queen... with all due respect your highness, if you could get anything you want then why don't you have a man that meets all of your expectations

could it be that you don't really want a great man

or is it that you might can get most things bt some things are a little harder to come by

i don't know


@antipop... what's the opposite of pop

anyway thanx for stoping by

wouldn't mind seeing that look for myself one day

that way i can save some money and just patent copies of your look and sell it to the world lol

@fezzzz... you got a point there

but the fact is these things are used on us every single day

psychologists pay a lot of money for top notch psychologists and social scientists to get them to tell them the best ways to brainwash us into buying their garbage

just want to give people not only the means to get what they want from people but also the means to protect themselves from people who try to get what they want from you

i should make that clear in my posts

thanx dawg

@anya... welcome my dear

please come again

like your fro too

fantasy queen said...

lol at that comment, now i want a man, i really do, but then i wonder if i'm ready for that if i really want...
okay, i'm sendin u a mail right now.

desperate lady said...

Laid back? Like r u serious? me laid back? u dont know what ur talking about...pls dont tell me ur intimidated by me...r u? cos thats d only xplanation as to y u'd think i'm laid back.
anywayz i checked d msg n it wasn't rude instead d 1 u sent to me was very very rude.

Apology accepted!

James Tubman said...

@queeny... after you get my audiobook then you'll be ready lol

@despearte... no i was talking about the first comment you ever sent me when i was talking about curing incurable diseaes

the 1st time i got tagged

you didn't hold anything back with me since the begining and to be honest with you i haven't held anything back with you

maybe i shouldn't have gone into a long tirade about the evil word nigger with you, but you make your life an open book

and trust me i've seen you get mean

and the things that i said to you is nothing compared to what you've said and done to me and others

and when i said laid back i meant able to take more stuff because YOU say things that others might not say

i figured since you don't hold back why should i

go back and look at the first comment you ever sent to me when i got tagged and ask yourself, not even knowing me, was that mean

well what are you waiting for lol

FREEDOM said...

JT baby,

Tu’Shae means well done. You made your point. Hats off 2 yA!

You are exactly right. And it is soooooooo true that WE (all of us) must be doers as well as hearers.

So, I am going to start “doing” now that I have “heard.” (smiles)

AnyaPosh said...

when you say "always have high expectations" I'm beginning to rethink my previous outlook. Because b4 I always had high expectations & then people often disappoint when they don't meet up. So I trained myself to have low-expectations, that way; I am never disappointed.
I guess I will be testing this new route you've prescribed here.

desperate lady said...

James that's not true, the comment I left there isn't rude 1 bit, go back n read it again, n if u think I was rude then I apologise n that shudnt have made u attack me they way u did.
U said "the things I say to others"? I don't say anything to people, d only people I may have been rude to were probably rude to me.
Anyways its all good though.

James Tubman said...

can u please tell me how you define rude

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

i may have to try that

Ms. emmotions said...

one thing i cherish about this blog and ur post....its its power to get me thinkin of trying them out, u know like teaching me and then getting me to find out how well it works,

weldone broda

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