Brothers: 3 characteristics of a mature black man and Sisters: how to know if a man is right for you

There comes a time in a every man's life when he has to put down his childish things and pick up the tools of manhood. He might not want to, but he has to, because the life of not only himself and his family, but also the community and his people as a whole depends on it. It's so much easier to take on the immature characteristics of the culture that we live in without questioning them because we see them everyday acted out on the television, we hear them in the music that we listen to and we see them acted out in other peoples behaviors including our own.

The Men who put out these advertisements and put the silliest black people they can find in front of our faces know about these three characteristics all to well and you can bet they follow them to a T. Now this doesn't mean that you can't have fun. But you have to be able to master yourself when the you know what hits the fan. You can't just sit back and wait for the perfect time or come up with some kind of excuse on why the most responsible thing to do shouldn't be done. No! We as men, even though many of us haven't been taught to be real men, still have to adopt these three habits of maturity because our wives and children will need us to have these when times get hard.

So what are the three major signs that indicate maturity in a man.

#1 A Man Must Stay Calm and Cool When Times Get Rough

Whether in a relationship when the two are on a verge of a fight or when all luck has ran out and you need to pay the rent for next month. A man stays relatively relaxed and focused on the outcome when the world seems to be crashing down around him. Brothers, women out here don't need an emotional basket case for a man because in most cases they already are one lol. So we have to be that rock, menchkeit or whatever people call it when the man is under pressure but responds to that pressure with a thorough understanding of his role and an unshakable confidence that will permit him to handle his business.

#2 A Man Must Have Healthy Relationships

A mature black man knows how to establish and maintain healthy relationships. An immature black man doesn't see the necessity for relationships because they are so involved in themselves and their own wants and needs. Look at our relationships with our relatives and friends. Do we have any close friends? Jawanza Kunjufu, a Black psychologists from Chicago said that a man is more likely to be successful and continue to have success in life when he has at least one close male friend that he is free to share his personal stuff with. It can be your brother, cousin or some other person in your family but you better know how to establish healthy relationships with others because you will never maintain one with the woman you're seeing or with that person that might give you your golden opportunity to make more money if you can't do it with a select few.

#3 Men Must Have A Purpose Greater Than Their Own Desires

In the post about the 7 qualities of manhood and in how to stop from being addicted , it talks about how having a goal frees you from being overly addicted to your partner and helps you to become a full fledged man in the process because a man's purpose in life is to give back to the society from which he came and make it better than it was. He feels most like a man when he's serving his role in life. For the ladies, watch the guys who seem as if they just care about themselves and not anything or anybody else because that's a hint on how he's going to treat you and that also means he's no where near maturity. Being self centered and gaining value solely based on how others see you is the most obvious and destructive form of immaturity in a man. Make sure you get one that cares about his people. Brothers make sure that you are a man of the people. Women instinctively look for these qualities in a man. If found they can be quite stimulating for her so take heed.

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